Tears of joy kept rolling down my eyes as I was getting overwhelmed with what I had just experienced. It was not a feeling of becoming aware of myself; it was a state of mind- it was a constant hangover for the last few days.
Listening to an interview with –Anita Moorjani on youtube- who was a fourth stage cancer survivor and she shared her experiences about having met death. Before opening this link, which someone had sent on one of the groups, I was thinking -why should I watch it. It could bring in negativity, because I generally feel illness and disease are very negative things to talk about or even think about. But something made me click the link, — maybe it was the thought of seeing how people look and feel and actually survive, after a serious illness like this one.
As I kept listening to her, I could relate very well because I had seen my grand father [nanaji] in coma for 7 years and so when she was explaining her state of coma, I knew exactly what she was talking about.
At his death, I had been in shock and pain- to see him die like this. But we do get over people who go away, though, many- a -times some instances remind us of their being. I always kept wondering- how a healthy man like him, die in this manner. And what is it that we can do to live healthy and fit till our last breath.
This interview gave me a beautiful insight. Anita was describing her coma state as one of the simplest states of mind. She had met death and was describing it as beautiful. She said that life is very beautiful on the other side. Other side? What’s that? Yes!! She was talking about death -where we become free of everything, every pain and misery- to reach a state of mind that has no limitations. Nothing matters there. Everything is peaceful.
Going further, listening to the interview, one thing that struck me the most was – the reason that she gave for her suffering – the reason why she had reached that sad state. It actually gave me the answer to how people can stay healthy till their last breath. How they keep walking, moving, enjoying and being independent till eternity.
Her reason to have been gone through this misery was -that she was a people’s pleaser. LIKE REALY?? Was I hearing right? In a place where we are taught to be nice to everyone, sacrifice our happiness to make others happy, be good girls and good boys all the time. This statement really hit me, so hard that I was possibly finding out the answers to everything happening in my life. I had been having some illness [though not a very serious one], for past one year and now I possibly knew what it was all about.
More than negative thoughts and stress, it’s – the lack of our own value, which makes us ill. She was so right when she said that we live in fear. Fear- yes!! Fear of being lonely if we don’t please people around us, fear of being ill if we eat our favourite food, fear to see our kids fail if we are ever not able to be very attentive to them, fear to loose our lifestyles if we do not focus on our job and finances and many more. So what is it that we should know and emphasize in life? – Yes!! It is -to live fearlessly. More so, because everything has to end- pain, sorrow, loneliness, pleasure and for a matter of fact –LIFE!!
We [This includes me too- because I am also yet learning to practice this], need to learn to embrace love around us. Love for us to be ourselves. We need to learn to drown in self-love. We need to learn to keep ourselves happy, pamper ourselves – JUST LIVE!! It’s not easy to do this. Even I am trying- still only trying, without knowing if I will ever accomplish it. But at least I have seen light now, I am aware how valuable I am and how special this life is. So I want to share this to all specials lives- born to be happy.
Live freely, be happy and most important – BE YOU!!