Whenever I have asked this question, “What are the ingredients of happiness?” The answer that I’ve gotten is – good health, love, companionship, good friends, good finances, fame, admiration, social status,etc.
So then the question is ‘Why do people who have all of the above, still give up on life and at times commit suicide?’
Food, clothing and shelter are the most basic needs of human beings, which we keep upgrading from time to time. But what we don’t realise is that we don’t enjoy the journey of upgrading, but always keep running after the destination. As much as it is important to have a goal/destination, it is equally important to enjoy the journey.
Today morning a friend told me about a young man’s suicide – Kushal Punjabi. She showed me his picture and his social status. He was a well known celebrity, working as a character artist in some great films. He was earning good money, having lots of properties, enjoying all luxuries, very prone to fitness and health, etc. It was a perfect life or atleast that’s what it looked like. He not only had achieved his basic necessities and the commonly known happiness ingredients, but also a fortune that could last a lifetime, even for his next generation.
He had a cute little three year old son, an estranged wife. He had posted his son’s picture sometime before he ended his life. This could also indicate that he missed his son and the family who was the purpose of his vision. Obviously this was also a need, but very different from the common basic needs what we believe humans to have. Because as human beings we are born with some basic needs of the mind too along with those of the body.
We must be aware of the actual basic needs we have. Stability, variety, recognition, love, growth and fulfillment being some of the most common ones. We usually concentrate on stability, recognition and loved ones most commonly. What we forget is that the only way to be happy and satisfied is to nurture our need for growth and fulfillment. These needs help gain a lot of love for ourself and eventually peace and satisfaction.
Hence no matter what worldly materials we possess, we must always indulge in learning and contribution. Life is a beautiful journey where every experience, whether good or bad, teaches us and nurtures our emotions. Even sadness is important to experience the variety of emotions nature has created for us. Feel whatever comes naturally and accept the situation no matter how tough it is. All we can do is, sit back, take a deep breath, relax and take the next right step. It teaches us great lessons of which the most important is ‘being yourself.’
Contribution in any way is the only way to feel fulfilled. It is the way where you feel that someone, be it any species, has benefitted by your existence and you have been a part of making the world a better place. When you can give unconditionally is when you have reached a different level of adrenal. Moreover, if by any chance you are given anything in return or even a simple act of gratitude, it’s miraculously life changing. Mood swing is just a phrase then. This is a 100 percent strike rate formula which helps you to love yourself.
Once you are in tune with yourself then everything is so simple. The pressure of being a good partner, good parent, good professional, etc is replaced by accepting yourself and giving your best at everything you do. The feelings of loss and fear are replaced by nirvana and courage. So please stop being the roles all the time and start being the best version of you. Then nothing will matter. And stop listening to the unfulfilled gurus who give unnecessary tips on parenting, relationships and humanity. Be your own judge and live life on your terms.
Kids will be fine and relationships will be better automatically. Humanity will be better if every human can take responsibility of being the best version of one’s true self and being courageous enough to present it to the world.
Let’s pay a tribute to all the lives ended so painfully and pledge to live a life of love and truth.