She Wasn’t Made to be a Maid!

Bano

The hierarchy of classes is a significant feature of the Indian society. The upper class, the upper middle class, the middle class, the lower middle class and finally, the underprivileged. This is clearly done on the basis of income generated and the lifestyle of a household.

We often end up looking down upon the people, who belong to the underprivileged category. We judge them based on their clothes, accessories, lifestyle and above all, the work they do. We often judge our fellow beings, based on their profession(No scientist has been able to find out the basis of this, though).

This trait is one of the major causes, for all kinds of pressure people go through, right from being students, then parents of the students and at times being professionals too. More so, one often ends up faking, of having dreams and passion, just to look a class apart.

Just imagine a world, where we can live only to be happy. Where there is no competition to possess things better than others and life can be lived with just basic necessities. A world where there is no judgement, about what your profession is or what your income is, what kind of clothes you have on or what kind of shoes you wear. A world where everyone is respected and accepted, regardless of class or profession.

An idiosyncratic example in this regard is, that of our maids. A peculiar incident provoked me to write this blog.

Yesterday, due to some lift issue in my building, my cook reached my place panting, because she had to climb the stairs. As she entered the kitchen, she was making a lot of hue and cry about the unavailability of the lift and about her daily struggle to get into the elevator and that too after waiting for a long time. Many a time she ends up walking up the staircase.  Due to this, she gets late for work in such high rise premises. Consequently, people get irritated and at times even threaten, to fire her.

Amidst her ranting and panting, my ten year old daughter got a chair for her to sit. She suddenly went mute and smiled at her. After a moment she touched her cheek and said, “Thank you, lekin mai ispe nahi baith sakti.” (meaning- I cannot sit on this)

My daughter immediately asked her, “Kyu?” (meaning – why)

To this she explained, that they are not allowed to sit on a chair or a sofa, at the place where they work. Despite being humbly touched, she refused to sit on the chair and for that matter even refused to have a glass of water, which I offered her, in the same glass that we use. This was quiet thought provoking for me.

What is the need for this kind of  discrimination? Ironically, this is the same woman, who cooks food for you and your family, along with cleaning your home and making your life easy. When you can consume the food made by her, then what is this partiality all about. Are they not human? Can’t we wash the glass after they have had water in it? And where are we going to take our chairs and sofas, if they cannot be used for a human’s comfort?

What we fail to understand is, that these maids, at times earn more than us. Hence there should be no question of discrimination based on income. For eg: my cook charges approximately 10K per house. She works for at least six to seven houses in my building. Her net monthly income is around 60 to 70k, that too tax free.

Moreover she wears decent clothes and looks clean too. Furthermore, she remembers all different tasks for each household. She is up-to-date with latest home gadgets, for faster cooking and better cleaning. In such cases what is the difference between a cook and any other so called classy woman?

This epidemic of classism is worse than racism. Trending woman’s day on every platform may not help, so as to respect woman of every background.

‘Padman’ was an eye opener, showing a common problem of the downtrodden women, who cannot afford a pad. Unfortunately, they could only reach out to women like us who have access to media. But we are already privileged and educated enough to understand our basic needs.

Moreover, if you ask your maids, “Padman dekha kya?”(meaning –  have you watched padman?) you will get a common answer, “Nahi dekha bhabi.” (meaning – No I haven’t). If you ask them, “Kya aap pad istemaal karte ho?”(Do you use pads?) they will end up saying, “Nahi, mujhe pasand nahi.” (meaning- I don’t like it.) At least that’s the answer I got from my maids.

So this woman’s day, let’s honour woman from every milieu and break the stereotypical norms of classism. Let’s show some respect for house-help. After all she was not made to become a maid!

Go With The Flow…

‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’, was the movie which drove my attention to scuba diving the first time. Though, while watching it, I was more keen on observing Hritik’s reaction and the duo’s [Hritik and Katrina], attraction for each other. But I left it there, never thought anything much about it.

I used to keep hearing from friends about scuba diving in Goa and at times got motivated too. But could never figure out the schedule to try it, until last month.

I actually experienced and understood what were those expression of tears rolling down Hritik’s cheeks after his dive. Especially for a person who doesn’t know swimming. Swimming skill can be gained, when you make yourself water friendly. But people like me are so claustrophobic, that we feel a weird suffocation [feeling of ears being blocked] to go under water, even in a pool.

At the dive campaign, the pool session started sharp on time, early morning. Thankfully the instructor was a very patient guy who was not in a hurry to complete his job, he was enjoying what he did. He gave us similar instructions, as I had seen Katrina giving, in the movie. We were made to wear all the heavy equipments, which controlled our placement in water. The oxygen pipes were made to get comfortable and we were told to practice breathing through the mouth only, because the nose had to be kept blocked by the mask.

Although the pool session should have been easy, I felt very uncomfortable in the beginning, because I used to feel suffocated to get inside water. Always, I experienced this strange, crazy feeling when I attempted going under water. That was one of the reasons I never learnt swimming.

Somehow, looking at others I just decided to let go n breathe through the mouth oxygen pipe. They made us practise a few times and then asked us to get ready to board a boat which would take us in the middle of the sea.

After the crew packed up all the equipments, we boarded the boat, to go to the destination where we had to dive. It was almost noon by the time it was my turn to dive. Everyone around told me that I have been assigned the most experienced and the best instructor to explore the sea. This in itself was a great motivation, that I was in safe hands.

The instructions before pushing us in the water were, “When you will be pushed in water, u will go deep for a few seconds and then automatically come up. Don’t be scared when you are down, you will surely rise up. Just keep breathing.”

[A moment to think about life which is so similar to water. The instructions should be- when u r pushed in the dark, when u r put down and in pain, hold on, let the time pass, u will automatically rise up. I guess this is the law of nature.]

With these instructions the incharge pushed me, with my back facing the water, exactly how the show in ZNMD.

SPLASH!! I was right inside. My brain was aware, I only had to breath, that too only from the mouth. Heart beating fast!!

“Just focus on breathing, you will be fine.” The instructor told me. Yes he was a very experienced and a humble instructor. He asked me if I was ok. I said yes and we started moving a little away from the boat. He could sense my nervousness and said,” Don’t be scared, you can hold me till you feel confident. Just keep breathing.”

It was a moment to wonder about the irony of life. We always do the best for our loved ones. Day and night, we keep working to keep everyone happy. But at a moment like this, in the middle of the sea,  finding yourself in the hands of a stranger and trusting him to save you, was a moment of truth. So vulnerable you become to an unknown.

Do we also trust our loved ones the same. Do we even know who might save our life at an unfortunate moment. Traces of adversities that keep happening [eg: floods, earthquakes,etc] were flashing through my mind.

With all these thoughts and mixed feelings, I kept moving. Eventually, I started feeling more confident and the instructor took me underwater. His next instruction was, “Just take it easy, go with the flow.” For few minutes I was actually only concentrating on my breath. Slowly slowly as we started flowing, his words kept echoing in my ears… go with the flow.

It’s a very important lesson – GO WITH THE FLOW. So many times, we try to do things we are not good at, we try to be with people whom we cannot tolerate or even connect, we stay at places which do not appeal to us. While making efforts to do this, all we end up doing is- take the burden, feel exhausted and get frustrated. Why don’t we make it easy for us. All we need to do is ..GO WITH THE FLOW.

Do what you are gifted with. Even if it means just making round chapattis. Whatever u enjoy doing and comes easy to you, do it. Be with people like yourself, who can let u be at peace and don’t judge u, who accept u for being u. Stay in a place that feels like home. 

It was indeed a beautiful dive. Connected to nature. A world away from the world.

There is so much beauty under water. The homes of the fishes, the rocks, the stones deep down, where they took me, till the bottom , on the sand, which was exciting to hold in the hand. The fishes who don’t even know there is a world above the sea, moving along happily with their own species. Such an enriching experience it was.

Inside the water it’s not very flexible to move your head in all directions as we usually do in the open. It takes a little bit of an effort to look around or turn or move in various directions. But the sight and the feel is – out of the world. Maybe because this world is actually out of our world. The water world. It really connects u to the reality of existence. It merges u to nature. It liberates u at the moment. It reveals life.

One life we get, for which the only purpose is to be happy and survive, that’s it. There is no rocket science – Just breathe and GO WITH THE FLOW!!

Media Konnect

The word media brings about a lot of aspirations to our minds. It sounds similar – to a ticket to fame and popularity.

Many companies have their main business as promoting people on media and help them market their talent and services. But not all these companies play important roles in making brands successful. 

But while attending the ‘Media Connect‘ meet, I realised that this company has a clear vision and they are very systematically organised.

All the doubts and questions asked by the participants were taken as opportunities to explain their purpose and process in detail.

All the speakers, including the founder were very humble and looking forward to help and guide.

The option for new film makers to have a screening of their movie at ‘The View’ was so tempting, that it compelled me also to think for once, to turn one of my short stories to a short feature film. 

More so the availability of the technical people is very much a part of this venture, so finding the right people becomes easy.

Even the cost and genuineness of services would be monitored which is a proud step for this team.

Moreover, their website clearly reflects their passion to promote genuine talent.

As a content writer I am looking forward to associate and display my capabilities with a team like ‘Media Connect‘ and I am sure it will take me a step higher in my career, as it’s a perfect platform to connect with the right people.

Laughing Way to Success!!

There is a reason why successful people are successful. It’s all about your attitude that can take you to the top, make you successful, and yet not let you be lonely. Now that’s real success.

One such inspiring success icon I was humbled to be acquainted with – Bharti Singh along with her family. 

Six months back I moved to Malad, in a complex where there were few TV celebrities. I got to know that the famous queen of comedy stayed in my building. 

I had always been a fan of comedy and so was very happy to know about it. In a span of few months, I got to know their family very well as her sister’s daughter n my kids went to the same school. 

What always inspired me about Bharti was, she is one of the most humble people I have met. Whenever I happened to meet her at her house, she would be quiet loving and friendly, irrespective of her status.

But today was a very touching moment. Both Bharati and her sister had organised a surprise party for their mom. It was aunty’s birthday and they had called their friends and aunty’s friends to celebrate it.

It was amazing to see how beautifully both sisters played host to us. Their love for their mother could be felt by this loving gesture. They wanted to make her happy and aunty’s pride could be seen on her face.

Amongst the celebration, I was observing Bharti. She did not have any air about being such a super celebrity. She was posing for people who came to her for selfies. She was very obsequious to all the aunties and very respectful to the waiters too .

I was a live witness to contemplate, why and how successful people reach the top with so much appreciation. 

  • They are grounded to their roots. 
  • They don’t ever wanna feel big by making others feel inferior . 
  • Their work and capability speaks for them, they don’t need to boast themselves . 
  • They are extremely down to earth and courteous . 

It’s an undefined rule that hardwork, dedication and luck play a very important role in the journey of success. But when it is combined with the above qualities, it creates a superstar like one I was around.

Touched, humbled, inspired and now a big big fan with love.

Laughing Way to Success!!

There is a reason why successful people are successful. It’s all about your attitude that can take you to the top, make you successful, and yet not let you be lonely. Now that’s real success.

One such inspiring success icon I was humbled to be acquainted with – Bharti Singh along with her family. 

Six months back I moved to Malad, in a complex where there were few TV celebrities. I got to know that the famous queen of comedy stayed in my building. 

I had always been a fan of comedy and so was very happy to know about it. In a span of few months, I got to know their family very well as her sister’s daughter n my kids went to the same school. 

What always inspired me about Bharti was, she is one of the most humble people I have met. Whenever I happened to meet her at her house, she would be quiet loving and friendly, irrespective of her status.

But today was a very touching moment. Both Bharati and her sister had organised a surprise party for their mom. It was aunty’s birthday and they had called their friends and aunty’s friends to celebrate it.

It was amazing to see how beautifully both sisters played host to us. Their love for their mother could be felt by this loving gesture. They wanted to make her happy and aunty’s pride could be seen on her face.

Amongst the celebration, I was observing Bharti. She did not have any air about being such a super celebrity. She was posing for people who came to her for selfies. She was very obsequious to all the aunties and very respectful to the waiters too .

I was a live witness to contemplate, why and how successful people reach the top with so much appreciation. 

  • They are grounded to their roots. 
  • They don’t ever wanna feel big by making others feel inferior . 
  • Their work and capability speaks for them, they don’t need to boast themselves . 
  • They are extremely down to earth and courteous . 

It’s an undefined rule that hardwork, dedication and luck play a very important role in the journey of success. But when it is combined with the above qualities, it creates a superstar like one I was around.

Touched, humbled, inspired and now a big big fan with love.

When You Teach… you learn!!

At times we don’t realise why certain things cross our path. 

In my journey of being a peaceful person today, inspite of all ups and downs in life, Indian Language School has played a very important role. There are certain learnings I got to learn from my favourite place, where this school is located. 

‘How can you like a place like Lagos, it’s so mediocre. Your choice should have been something like – Australia, Canade,USA, etc ‘. Most of my friends kept telling me this, when I told them how I loved my stay at Lagos( Nigeria) and how I wish, I would still be there.

What is it that I loved so much. What is it that I miss so much. Definitely not the climate or the scenic beauty. It was something beyond that. 

It was my friends!! 

But here today, I would like to make a special mention about my friends at ILS and my journey as a teacher there.

I had never expected to meet some wonderful people in my journey during my stay in Lagos, who loved me only for being me and not labelled to any role that I was playing in life. 

I play many roles in life- a mother, a daughter, a trainer, etc anything. But the fact is the best role I like to play, is being myself. 

I still remember the first time, when I was given the honour of being a judge for a fancy dress competition. The way I was introduced on stage, gave me chuckles in my stomach. After a long time I had heard about my own achievements and qualities.  Until then, for many years I was just about the roles I played. That was the first moment of truth to have realised inner happiness.

Best part was, I met some- out of this world women, who made me feel that there is more to being a woman than I knew.

My first extraordinary moment was to meet the principal of the school, when I had applied for a job. Mrs. Suman Kanwar, a woman I was completely awed to meet.  Her personality was like that of a President, who could handle an entire country, and here she was handling a school. Her vision and mission had helped to manage the school successfully for decades. 

Then I got a chance to work with a very humble lady, who was the first leader in my tenure. She had a serene calmness about her. Even in her warnings, there was a remarkable amount of respect for her subordinates. Mrs. Bajaj is how we used to address her. It was a pleasure to work with her. Sure enough, there were other colleagues too, who guided and inspired me, but Mrs. Bajaj was the most approachable and accommodating. 

Later I got transferred to a higher section of classes. I was very reluctant to leave my space of comfort and my humble boss. But rules said, we had to be a part of the team where we were most required. So I joined the grade four English department which was in the building next to the one I was already working.

There was one best part of being a teacher. No matter which class you teach, you are loved by your students. This actually gives you courage to cope up with other colleagues and policies of school. Especially when students start benefiting from the way you teach. 

Hence, I was still feeling fine to explore this new venture, but sure enough I had this nervousness to associate with new colleagues. 

I still remember meeting Mrs. Tandon. A young dynamic and a sheer beautiful woman. I wondered how she would be managing such high egos of higher section teachers. But the moment she called out my name, I just knew she was a confident mature diva, who knew her job very well. She was not only a boss, but became a very dear friend too. And so is the case today. 

Even today, when I see her pictures, I wonder if I would ever be half as perfect as she is. Young at heart and young in looks. Her mantra is, ‘Live and let live- be happy’. 

Later I was introduced to other teachers, some of them teaching different subjects and some of them teaching English. It was a very cool ambience to work. Very competitive, but an ocean of knowledge. It was all going very well.

But life got better, when I found Manisha. Manisha was one of the very rare, loving and honest species ever to be seen.

Though in the beginning I often felt, ‘This cannot be real!’ There was nothing great about me, then how could someone like me so much, the way she did. But it was true. She not only helped me to understand the basics of teaching but also helped me overcome my fears about making question papers and assessment sheets. 

She was the most helpful, intelligent, straightforward and secure person, I had ever met. I was seeing all of her- her wit, her humour, her artificial fights with me for the last bite of tiffins(was best to relive my childhood again), her humble self versus her quality to stand for herself and of course, some times for me too. She had all perfect qualities of being a successful woman.Inspirational!!

In fact, even today I can say, she is one of the people who never give up on me, even when I give up on myself. 

Life gives us so many choices- to make friends, to choose professions, to choose our partner, to choose the location we want to stay and many more. It’s all about whether we are able to take the right decisions at the right time.

Usually, we are driven by our intellect and feelings. But at times, decisions just happen, even when we are not ready to take them. But if we do the best to our efforts, all decisions eventually prove out to be right.

Amongst any other journeys of my work life, this has been the most memorable and educating one. I completely realised, that even as teachers we learn, as we teach. 

Earn Youth Forever!

Swimming pools have been all around, eversince. Almost every month I used to visit one, in various parts of the city. Getting kids dressed in the swim wear and then watching them swim and enjoy in the water, was one of my regular n most enjoyable activities. 

I never learnt how to swim. But, I always wanted my kids to learn good swimming. So, I enrolled them, in one of the best swimming classes, where I used to accompany them everyday. It was one of the best -feel good moments, to see my little people learning and swimming, so enjoyably.

Throughout this journey, I never realised, that I was only a spectator and not a participant. I was just seeing things happening and feeling them, but not doing them.

But few weeks back, when I took my kids, to one of the swimming pools nearby, my kids insisted, “Mom, you have to come with us in water! We will have fun.”

Probably, they had observed my new swim wear and thought, I might be wishing to try swimming. (Only kids can be so unconditional.)

So I agreed and the three of us now started entering the pool. I was completely awestruck with what I was experiencing. I actually started getting aware, about my body floating. I was even getting scared when I got down the last step. But, both my kids were cheering me, ” Chalo mamma, bohot maza aayega!” And holding each hand of mine, took me right inside.

My little boy, now all grown-up, kept saying,” Come on mom, I’m here, don’t worry.” I didn’t know how to hold my overwhelmed feelings. I didn’t know what was making me more amazed, the feel of floating, or the words of my son.

Meanwhile, my little girl insisted that, I should now learn a few swimming tricks. She asked me to hold the edges of the pool and let my body loose. Both the kids on each side, training me to swim.  One holding me below the tummy, and the other showing me chin position and leg movements.  It was out of the world!

It took me back to my childhood days, when I used to go swimming with my parents. I never learnt swimming. I never realised then, what I could miss, by missing out, learning a skill. Although, it never deprived me of anything in the world, but the reality is, I missed some divine pleasure moments.

I dont know why,  we don’t realise the importance of skill development at a young age. I guess somehow in that tender age, we think, that some magic wand will make us grow up into fully equipped adults. Which is not the case. 

In reality, it is very important to develop skills. Like for example: I have decided to learn a new skill every year.  And of course, this year it’s going to be swimming.

Growing up age is the most important time of any person’s life.  So, even as parents we have to be aware of our child’s overall development.  We have to give our kids the power of knowledge and learning. 

Teenage years, again, are very confusing. Never sure what to do what not to do. Here is where our role as parents comes in picture. Either to guide them ourselves or help them explore their journey with the help of some professionals.

Few days back I had a query, where a teenager wanted to know, ‘ What is more important as a teenager, love or studies?’

I wanted this child to really understand the concept of life. It’s all about choices. And especially at this age, it is very difficult to understand what are the right choices, which will make our lives comfortable in future. I tried explaining him and guiding him, so as to make sure, he does well in life. This is an advice I would also like to give my own kids.

I told him,—-”Khud hi ko kar buland itna, ki har muqaddar se pehle, khuda bande se Khud poochhe, ‘Bata, Teri raza kya hai?’

Translation: Make yourself so sublime, that when God writes destinies, he himself asks you, ‘What is your choice?’

So, at 19, the best thing to do is:

Concentrate on your studies

Make yourself fully equipped to take up your choice profession successfully.

Educate yourself and enhance your skills.

Make yourself capable to handle any sort of role, even the one, that you ever dreamed of being. Be it business, job, artistic field, etc- anything, you should be ready to take up your choice career.

In your journey in doing so, if you come across someone, who touches your heart and makes you feel loved, don’t stop yourself. But don’t hunt for love and sulk if you don’t find your soul mate. That has to happen and will happen, you will find love for sure.

So for now do what is in your capacity and focus to create a beautiful life for yourself. So that when your better half enters, blends in the excellence of it.

Good luck!!’—-

Having said the above, the mommy inside me, felt immense pleasure, since I would want to pass this on to my own kids. I was also very happy to see the response on this statement.

So, I proudly announce that, skill development not only helps you shape your career, but also helps you enjoy real pleasures of life.

So learn, learn, learn and earn youth forever!!

Someone asked, ” Why women don’t like men with less facial hair?” I said,

​First and foremost, stop judging yourself based on what women think about you. Whatever has been given to you naturally is the best.

Women who tease you, might be going through some complex themselves. So let them be. We cannot do much about, what nature gives us.

At this point you might not be finding the right girl, so you kind of feel lonely and approach any random girls. By doing this, you give them the power to reject or select you.

Instead, focus on things which will enhance your personality and make you desirable, so much so that people would want to hang out with you:

  1. Concentrate of making a good career.
  2. Work on your soft skills.
  3. Try to look fit (workout).
  4. Enhance your personality in such a way, that you yourself feel proud of yourself.
  5. Be aware of what you wear.
  6. Always smell good.
  7. Keep yourself neat and hygienic.

This will definitely Empower you to make a mark, with whatever u think is a shortcoming.

Believe me, no matter how we are, the right people will always love us for that, without wanting to change us.

So dont bother about immature people around you who won’t even have any value addition to your life.

Is Your Canary Singing?

Sitting through the Annual Day program, I was eagerly waiting for my daughter’s performance. A huge auditorium , with a view better than a cinema hall and lighting system as grand as a film fare function, it was indeed a pleasure to watch little kids coming on stage and performing in such an audacious aura. While waiting for my baby’s turn, almost half the function was over. I kept waiting and enjoying other performances.
Finally, came my little princess, right in the front – as the main lead dancer. Wow! I was already feeling overwhelmed. My little sweetheart was dancing to the perfect rhythm of a recent hit bollywood song. Her moves and yet such innocent expressions were giving me goosebumps. I just couldn’t hold back my tears of joy. I was happy to the core.
Experiencing this moment, I just kept wondering, why am I feeling so overexcited. It’s not that big a deal. It’s afterall just a dance performance of my baby. Moreover, along with her, there are so many other children. But still this moment was making me feel so full. Full of love and compassion.
I was speechless. My son sitting next to me was saying, “See mama, Yashu is in the center. She is the main dancer.” All I could respond was, – a nod with a tearful smile. Ever since both kids started school, these annual functions really got me very emotional. So today I was just trying to analyse,- ‘Why am I so touched and uncontrollably happy?’

Most of the times, I do find a lot of answers within me. And believe me, these answers are far beyond what we get to read in the ancient Vedas or even latest best seller philosophical copies. Because these answers relate to my own self directly. How??
In the recent past, I was becoming aware about the purpose of one’s life. Why have we got this life? What’s our purpose of being born? Why do we bring our children into the world? Why do we make relationships? Why do we need to take up a career with a kind of work that we enjoy doing? Many a times I used to think about these questions. But eventually I realised – its not that complcated, -it’s simple.

By nature, we all are born, in an unconscious state. While growing up, we learn all the things that we see around us. People around us, – parents, teachers, friends, relatives, etc. teach us most of the things we grow up to become. We acquire all the possible knowledge from our surroundings and our experiences. But what we feel inside us, what we feel within – is something which we should actually focus upon, but, most of us don’t do that. Maybe because no one ever teaches us to do so. No one talks about it. But, whenever we become aware of ourselves, is the only time we awaken. We come vis a vis the reality of life.

What is the reality? -The reality of life is, that we have been given life for only one purpose. And that purpose is,-  ‘TO KEEP OUR SOULS HAPPY!!’. So now our prime duty is, to understand what makes us happy. Only then, can we keep our souls happy.

Happiness is a state of mind which reaches us when we are engaged in things that we love to do or when we are with people, with whom we love to be. Anything that can bring tears of happiness to our eyes, has touched our heart and which means it has nourished our souls.

I was recently listening to a talk when I came across something very interesting. There was this woman in her 40s talking about how we can keep our souls happy. Now she was talking about people who work in the coal mines. These people have to keep digging the mines, and while doing so the air around them gets poisoned. So, to save themselves, they keep a canary around them. This canary has to keep singing, which means everything is fine. If it stops singing, it means the poison from the mines is spreading around in the air. So, if it has stopped singing, it means it’s time to immediately leave the place.
Now let that canary be our soul. All we need to do is keep our canary singing. Which means keep our souls happy. Now how do we do that? To keep a check if we are not being poisoned, we need to be aware about our feelings. How do we feel with some of the people around us or how do we feel about a certain situation. Like the example I mentioned about my stupendous feelings, where a simple dance performance by my child was giving me chills and rushes of happiness. Here now, – My canary was singing!
Apart from happy and singing canary, we also need to understand, about what can be the poison around us. We need to understand, that people who spread negativity around us have to be let go. Or at least made to realise their limitations. Moreover, in case we ever get stuck in worse situations of life or life itself dumps us, then we don’t have  to give up and shatter. Think of it this way. If you have hit your rock bottom today, consider your self lucky. Life has given you a chance to start fresh. So dont panic. Just relax, -take a deep breath, calm down yourself and do the next right thing. Each time you feel broken, just check out, what is the next right thing to do, and go on, do it! All you need to do is, focus only on 1 thing – ‘ Is your canary singing?’

Be You

Tears of joy kept rolling down my eyes as I was getting overwhelmed with what I had just experienced. It was not a feeling of becoming aware of myself; it was a state of mind- it was a constant hangover for the last few days.

Listening to an interview with –Anita Moorjani on youtube- who was a fourth stage cancer survivor and she shared her experiences about having met death. Before opening this link, which someone had sent on one of the groups, I was thinking -why should I watch it. It could bring in negativity, because I generally feel illness and disease are very negative things to talk about or even think about. But something made me click the link, — maybe it was the thought of seeing how people look and feel and actually survive, after a serious illness like this one.

As I kept listening to her, I could relate very well because I had seen my grand father [nanaji] in coma for 7 years and so when she was explaining her state of coma, I knew exactly what she was talking about.

At his death, I had been in shock and pain- to see him die like this. But we do get over people who go away, though, many- a -times some instances remind us of their being. I always kept wondering- how a healthy man like him, die in this manner. And what is it that we can do to live healthy and fit till our last breath.

This interview gave me a beautiful insight. Anita was describing her coma state as one of the simplest states of mind. She had met death and was describing it as beautiful. She said that life is very beautiful on the other side. Other side? What’s that? Yes!! She was talking about death -where we become free of everything, every pain and misery- to reach a state of mind that has no limitations. Nothing matters there. Everything is peaceful.

Going further, listening to the interview, one thing that struck me the most was – the reason that she gave for her suffering – the reason why she had reached that sad state. It actually gave me the answer to how people can stay healthy till their last breath. How they keep walking, moving, enjoying and being independent till eternity.

Her reason to have been gone through this misery was -that she was a people’s pleaser. LIKE REALY?? Was I hearing right? In a place where we are taught to be nice to everyone, sacrifice our happiness to make others happy, be good girls and good boys all the time. This statement really hit me, so hard that I was possibly finding out the answers to everything happening in my life. I had been having some illness [though not a very serious one], for past one year and now I possibly knew what it was all about.

More than negative thoughts and stress, it’s – the lack of our own value, which makes us ill. She was so right when she said that we live in fear. Fear- yes!! Fear of being lonely if we don’t please people around us, fear of being ill if we eat our favourite food, fear to see our kids fail if we are ever not able to be very attentive to them, fear to loose our lifestyles if we do not focus on our job and finances and many more. So what is it that we should know and emphasize in life? – Yes!! It is -to live fearlessly. More so, because everything has to end- pain, sorrow, loneliness, pleasure and for a matter of fact –LIFE!!

We [This includes me too- because I am also yet learning to practice this], need to learn to embrace love around us. Love for us to be ourselves. We need to learn to drown in self-love. We need to learn to keep ourselves happy, pamper ourselves – JUST LIVE!! It’s not easy to do this. Even I am trying- still only trying, without knowing if I will ever accomplish it. But at least I have seen light now, I am aware how valuable I am and how special this life is. So I want to share this to all specials lives- born to be happy.

Live freely, be happy and most important – BE YOU!!